New Game

Ok so i bought Jace a new XBOX 360 for christmas because his broke about a month after Makayla was born....and he was so sad when it broke, he actually cried! But i mean i guess i would too if i played that thing everyday.
So the night that i gave it to him, we took a special trip to Austins house to get Jace's games that he was borrowing because Jace was about to have a fit to play.
We also just went to Walmart last night because we had to get some groceries and while we were there Jace wanted to get me a game that i would like to play...it was spicificaly supposed to be mine.
So the game that i wanted was FallOut 3. That game where there was a nuke bombing and everyone was either put into vaults in the mountains to be safe, or killed by the nuke, or turned into this weird zombie looking creature that attacks you.
Well when we got home last night i put Makayla to bed and started to play and Jace watched, we ended up staying up until 3:30am playing that game.
Then when we went to sleep i woke up at like 5 feeling sick and came downstairs and got me a glass of water and some crackers to settle my stomach. Then when i laied back down i still couldnt sleep...but i finally fell back asleep at like 7am. Then Makayla woke up at 9:30am but Jace was so sweet, he said that he would get up and feed her and watch her so that i could get some more sleep because he knows that i had a rough night.
Little did i know that he was gonna play my game while i was asleep lol.
So i got up today around noon, and came downstaris and found Makayla sitting in her boppy chewing on her teething ring and talking to it. And Jace was playing my game.
And it is now 2:17 and he is still playing my game, lol its like he took it over because now he knows more about it then i do. And so far today he has only let me play once while he was changing Makayla's diaper lol.
So im just waiting for my chance to play...i know this post is kind of boring, but i just thought id share.

Christmas

Ok so its christmas time, duh, you can tell by all of the freakin traffic, and people at the mall.

Since when is the christmas time stressed?...it never used to be like that.

I remember i used to get so excited around this time of year. In elementary school we would go the last few days before our holiday break and play games and have little christmas parties, and just have fun being kids.

Now a days they dont even let kids have holiday parties anymore, on Justins (lil bro) last 2 days of school they had to test and do normal things that they always do in the classroom. And that aggrivated me, i mean we got to have fun as kids, why shouldnt they?

Even when i got a little older it would be a lot of fun going to the mall and buying presents for everyone, i would go with my mom or my cousins and just have a fun day of shopping!

Now a days everyone dreds the shopping deal that they have to do, idk if its because their buying for other people and not themselves (that not selfish) or what.

And idk about you but it bothers me that everyone is always in a pissy mood when im trying to do my christmas shopping.

People walking around bumping into you because they wouldnt get the hell out of your way because they were taking up the whole damn isle and not letting you threw, then giving you a dirty look like you were in their way even though they were the ones that should have moved!

It affects me to the point that i get in a pissy mood and just add to my frustration.

In Trey's blog he was talking about not feeling the "magic" in christmas anymore...and its a wander if any of us do anymore.

Everythings just become so shallow and materialistic. Nobody really has the holiday spirit because they wont stop for just a second to take a breath and realize that its there.

I wish that i could feel like i did when i was a child, when it was getting so close to chritmas, feeling downright giddy knowing that i was allowed to open just one present on christmas eve then whineing because i wanted to open just one more.

Then wakeing up on christmas morning at like 5am before the sun even came up wanting to wake up my mom and dad so we could go see what Santa brought for us.

And just feeling completely overjoyed to open presents with my family and their happiness to just be with eachother.

And its just not like that anymore...like for instance, i believed in Santa until i was 12...i know thats a pretty good while, all the way up until middle school lol but im proud to admit it.

But even kids are becoming desinsatized to the spirit of christmas. My little brother went to school last week and they watched The Polar Express, now i loved that movie, i think it captured the very essence of christmas spirit really well. But he came home that day saying, "Josh said that Santa's not real, that mom and dad just buy the presents and put them out on christmas eve."...and i just didnt know what to say...Justin's only 7 years old, and it bothers me that Josh said that to him...i mean really just because you found out the truth doesnt mean that you need to go and ruin it for everyone else, stupid little vindective child! Id like to hit him over the head with a bat and say, "ops! sorry i thought your head was a ball."

Because he's like that. He thinks he's the shit because he's 9 and Justins only 7...

But anyways my mom ended up talking to Justin and telling him that Josh's mom probably has to buy his presents and put them under the tree on christmas eve because he's so mean Santa doesnt bring him anything anymore.

And i just feel sorry for Justin because its really early for him to lose the magic, and i feel bad about that. I think its all steming from everyone else because they dont feel the joy in christmas anymore.

I HATE OUR F*****G CAR!!!

OMG! ok so tonight we went out to eat with Austin and Angela and Robert to Jonny Carinos in warner robins. Well when it was time to leave we went out to the car and got Makayla and ourselves loaded up, Jace went to start the car and guess what??...the car wouldnt start!!!
Now it did this yesterday but that was bc it wasnt all the way in park ...stupid jace lol... and we thought that it was the same reason tonight but we tried putting it more into park but it wouldnt go any further and it still wouldnt start.

Jace and Austin messed with it for about 45 minutes then we let it sit for a while and tried it again and it started....so we think that something is wrong with the starter and the ignitionand the shifter.

It just really sux! Bc it seems like everytime we fix something on the car the next week something else messes up.

Like when we first got the car, which is 11 years old by the way, there was something wrong with battery it stopped running not even a week after we got it from my dad.
Then after we got the battery fixed then the air conditioner messed up, then we got that fixed and the heater messed up.
And now we just got that fixed and its messing up again.

Its just really aggrivating, bc we hav to keep putting so much money into this stupid car and its not doin anything but messing up!

Hanging out

Ok so tonight was a really good night, Jace's friend (who he pretty much considers his brother) Elijah came home from Iraq on the 1st of December and will be in Macon till the 18th. Well me, Jace, Austin, Angela, Elijah and his wife all went out to eat tonight and then went back to Austins house and just hung out for a few hours. It was so much fun!

Iv hung out with Elijah before but it was like over a year ago bc he's been in Iraq for the past 13 months. and it was just a lot of fun for all of us to hang out again.

I could never imagine joining the army! I mean just the thought of leaving my little girl for months or years at a time just makes me sick! And that what Elijah has to do. He has a 13month old son, he got to be there when he was born but then had to go back to Iraq like 2 days later and has only seen his son (until now) for 2 weeks in the past 13 months...OMG! I would never be able to do that!

So needless to say we're all really happy that he's home and safe! And we all had an amazing time tonight!

New Car!!!

This is the car that i will be getting in the next 3 months or so...yay im excited!!!! We're also looking at some appartments in Warner Robins that are amazing for a great price....so hopefully we can move out from behind Jaces parents house!!! YAY!

Short yet slightly concerning blog....

ok so iv been really REALLY tired and neausas for like the past week and a half and its starting to concern me...

its a really short blog i know, but i just thought i would write down how i was feeling

Pictures

So people hav been pitching a fit because i havnt put any new pictures of Makayla on my facebook in a while, when iv been trying but here's the problem i think there must be something wrong with my camera because i have bought brand new batteries 4 times in the past 4 weeks and for some reason my camera will only cut on for a few seconds and then say "replace batteries". And this wasnt a cheap camera, 8 mega pixels for $120.
So i was gonna take it to best buy (where i bought it last christmas) and see what they think.
I did however manage to take a short video of Makayla watching Shrek the Third and she was talking to it.
But as soon as i get my camera fixed then i will definitly be putting more pictures of her on facebook asap!

Friendship Is Like a Flowers

Friendship is like a flower,
Glowing in its glory,
Each and every seed,
Telling its own story.

As each flower blooms,
And then continues to grow,
More of its strength and knowledge,
Continues to show.

And like a garden,
It blooms much more fair,
When carefully tended,
By those who care.

Once in a while,
You come across a friend,
Who is beautiful as a flower,
With a good heart to lend.

So i picked this flower,
And pulled it apart,
And soon all its pieces,
Grew into my heart.

But what i realized,
Is that this flower that grew,
Was not leaves and petals,
But pieces of you.

Your love and kindness,
Your strength and power,
Have helped me grow,
Into my own little flower.

And now with our friendship,
I'll never let go,
And we can help others,
To flower and grow.

My Family

Ok so i dont understand what my family's deal is.
I went over to my grandmas house to eat dinner today...after dinner everyone is sitting at the table just chatting and my grandma says "so are you even planning on goin to college, or hav you just givven up on that?"
I was like "what the hell?" "yea im gonna go to college but i was gonna wait till Makayla is old enough to be in a daycare and i can actually afford it."
"I want to get my music education degree so that i can be a music teacher."
My grandma says, "why dont you look into nursing?! It would be so much better for you and you would make more money."
I said, "I dont want to be a nurse! I want to be a teacher!"
She says, "Well i heard that ATI has training courses and you can get a nursing degree within half the time it would take to get it at any other college, why dont you do something like that it would definitly make us more proud."
I said, "I dont want to be a nurse, thats not where my passion is, i want to be a music teacher!"
And she has the balls to say, "who cares about your passion? you wont get anywhere with music, you dont even sing well."

I was like "what the fuck!!!"
It just pisses me off when they do stuff like that! I dont give a crap if they want me to be a nurse, i dont want to be (im to squimesh for that anyway).

Its just not fair, why cant they support me for who i am and what i want to do with the rest of my life?! Just because i got married and had a baby before i turned 20 dont mean shit!!! But they hold me down with it, like they think since that happened ill never hav a stable job, or ill never get a college education, or ill never be as good as them! And thats just utter bullshit!

I think that they want me to be upset that i hav a husband and a baby at my age, and thats just not gonna happen. Iv never been happier then i am right now! I dont know what i would do without Jace and Makayla! I feel complete now that their in my life, and i would never change that or take it back for the world!

But i mean they hav always been like that, and i doubt its gonna change anytime soon, i guess all i can do is grit my teeth and bear it and just try to tune them out.

Ass Hole!

OMG Jace is being a funcking prick to me today!
we woke up fighting this morning, he rolled out of bed saying "while im at work you NEED to clean the house." I told him no bc i have to go to work today too and im tired as hell so im gonna go back to sleep for a little while longer ( iv been really tired this past week for some reason, prolly all the stress from my nanny dieing ) And he gets all pissed off at me saying, "all you hav been doing is sleeping and not taking any adult responsibility, and thats all you do is make excuses like your tired or you sick and i dont believe you anymore!" (iv been a little sick this past week too for some reason)
I said, "hey! iv just been tired for this past week! and you cant say shit about me not taking responsibility, i go to work and come home to take care of Makayla and deal with you, all you do is go to work and then come home and complain about how i dont do enough!"
He said, "bull shit! im the one doin all the work, working and coming home to deal with you and my dad and help take care of Makayla and your not working 40+ hours a week like i am"
I said, "well you know what? im not cleaning this house by myself bc i think that i do plenty for you and you need to get off your lazy ass and help! The only things that you help with Makayla are sometimes you feed her and sometimes you change her but the rest of the time im taking care of her, sometimes i really need a break and some help with watching her, and i love the fact that you think that when i say i feel bad or feel tired that its just an excuse i cant help it if iv been really tired and neausas this past week!!! Im usually never like this and im always doin more then you!"
So by this point he was screaming at me saying "you dont do anything but sleep and be lazy and always find some reason to get out of taking responsibility iv been paying the bills and taking care of you till you got your job, you never do what you say that your gonna do, your not being the wife that you said you were gonna be! Its days like this when i really question if i should hav married you or not!"
I said, "i cant help it for this past week idk whats wrong with me or why iv been feeling so tired, this has been a really hard week for me, but i never act like this, and if you feel like questioning weather or not you should hav married me then how about i just stay at my moms tonight."
He said, "if you go there and stay tonight, then just dont come back."


So we finally decided that we should let my mom take care of Makayla tonight and we will come home tonight bc he gets off at 9pm and i get off at 10pm and we will clean the hosue together...
it still doesnt fix the fact that he was an ass hole to me today tho, when i cant help it if i feel sick.

Nanny went home!

Well my nanny died yesterday at about 5pm.
It was just really ironic, bc when she fell and they sent her home, the doctor said that usually with her condition people throw a blood clot and are killed within 3 weeks...and he kept repeating it over and over and i guess he knew what he was talking about.
She died 3 weeks and 2 days after she fell...its hard to believe that she spent 3 whole weeks in bed...but yesterday was just a really bad day. On Saturday she didnt know who anybody was and she woke up screaming "help me!" "their hurting me!" and she didnt take any of her meds. bc she didnt let my family open her mouth. Then we think that what happened was that some time on Saturday night she had another stroke bc all day yesterday she was in like a comma state, we would go in to her room and ask her if she needed anything and she would just lay there blinking. She wouldnt respond. So we were pretty sure that she wasnt feeling any pain, bc if she couldnt respond, she had to hav had another stroke that just froze all her muscles.

When she actually passed away i wasnt there, but my mom and 2 aunts and cousin tommie were, her breathing just kept getting more and more shallow until she just stopped breathing. When it happened every one was in her room, my cousin tommie said, "i love you nanny" and my mom said, "where here momma, me and Joyce and Rose are here and we love you" and she took in a breath and blinked her eyes and closed her eyes and stopped breathing just like she fell asleep.

And yes i miss her a lot and of course i cryed but im happy bc i know she went to heaven and shes with my grandpa who died 3 weeks after my first birthday and shes out of pain bc i couldnt stand seeing her in pain like that.
So im ok bc i know that shes ok, shes home.