SICK....

Ok so it is 4:45am on early Tueaday morning and i am up because i cant sleep...i have had a stupid cold all week and i feel like crap!

Im used to my stupid sinuses draining like almost every time the seasons change but this is different, this is an actual full blown cold!

You know that feeling where your head is really stopped up but at the same time your nose is running and you almost cant feel it running until it starts to come out of your nose... and it makes you feel like you have a fever but you dont...and i also have a bad cough because im so congested in my chest.

And just to top it all off, i lost my voice the other day, completely! Like i couldnt make a sound, and for anyone who knows me, its very difficult for me to just go a short period of time without saying something, so just think about the fact that i had to go almost a full 24 hours before at least a little bit of sound came back into my voice.

And it made me feel really bad too, i had to go a whole day not talking to Makayla, and that was really harder for me then anything else. I mean Jace plays with her for a bit but then he sets her in her boppy and lets her watch cartoons so he can do his own thing and if she doesnt whine, he could leave her there for hours...but i dont do that.

I usually make sure that i spend at least an hour playing with her before i set her down to play by herself. Unless she just wants to be put down, because shes getting to the point where she just wants to sit down and play with her theathing ring or little dolly. And then i dont let her sit there but for maybe an hour before i play with her somemore, i dont want her to just sit there, shes need to spend some time with us and get some tummy time too...

But anyways, Jace never really talks to her much, like when i change her i usually talk to her and tell her what im doing because its good for her to watch us talk it will make it easier for her to pick it up later, and also it entertains her. But when Jace changes her he doesnt say a word, or do anything to make her laugh. He doesnt do any of the things that i usually do, and it made me feel like that made her have a bad day since i couldnt talk...

I think i used up almost a whole freakin notebook the other day trying to talk to Jace and tell him what to do with her.

I felt like it was kind of scaring her too, like when i would hold her the other day because i usually talk to her and laugh with her and just spend time with her, but since i couldnt the other day then one of the times when i was holding her she looked at me and was just staring like she was thinking, "ok why are you not talking to me?"

And it made me feel so bad but then i felt a little better when i looked at her and smiled and she smiled back at me.

As for today, i have my voice back some, i still sound really squeeky, lol i sound like a boy when his voice changes. And it always worries me when i loose my voice, like im always afraid that when it comes back that ill be an alto! AHH! lol

But i still have a really stuffy head today and a really bad cough.

Im sure its just a stupid head cold from my sinuses draining, its not contagous but im still not getting in Makayla's face just to make sure. And im trying not to strain my voice any more then i have to.